Friends in Adulthood: The 3 Types You Need

“If you look around your circle and you don’t get inspired, you don’t have a circle, you have a cage.”

-Ruben Harris

Having a friend you’d consider a sister is more important as an adult as it was as a child. If you’re fortunate enough, you’ll have that person from your childhood into adulthood. However, as you begin to find yourself, you’ll notice that your desires and needs within a friendship will change and no matter how much you’d hate to admit it, but the friends you surround yourself with will have to change according to your needs. Sorry, not sorry.

The first friend I made as an adult was my freshman year of college roommate Kayla and let me tell you, thats my girl five-ever! We’ve literally cried together, prayed together, gotten angry and made up with food together and she definitely fits my needs of a friendship. We don’t even talk every single day but we both know that if we need each other, just call. That’s how it should be for any friendship.

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We are all grown and have different things going on in our lives so we aren’t required to check in with them everyday like you’re in a relationship. It’s not like how we were when  we could go home from school and talk about the events of that day, every. single. day, which isn’t realistic in present day. The definition of friend transforms into sister at that point. Think about it: any sibling you have, how often do you speak to them? How many times do you call them just to bounce ideas off of them because you know they will gladly listen with no problem? Use those standards when it comes to your friendships.

I truly think the toughest part about growing older is that you realize that all your needs in a friend will most likely not come from a single person. You’ll only end up disappointed when you’ve tried so hard to make that one person in charge of all your needs in a friend.

When going through life, here are the types of friends you need in your life to truly help you flourish and why:

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The Goal Friend

Setting goals for yourself is something that should become apart of your daily/weekly routine, period. In order to grow in the many aspects of your life, you have to push yourself to achieve those goals and when it gets too tough for you, you should have that goal friend you can call to help push you and keep you accountable for your actions. Whether it be business related, personal, or spiritual, that person will test your limits. (Kayla is about to get goal friend added to her title and doesn’t even know it yet.) We are both business women and as we both progress in our businesses, I need her by my side to keep me in line and she knows I’m doing the same for her.

The Dependable Friend

No matter what it is, you can always depend on her for anything! Her loyalty is unmatched and she cares deeply for you. She will travel near and far to be there for you and she’ll always call just to check in and make sure everything is going okay. You never have to question if she’s a real friend because her actions show the genuineness of her personality.  This friend would also be down to go with you to do something totally crazy but she wouldn’t care because she’s just that ride or die and you’re her bestie.

The Honest Friend

This is just what it sounds like, the friend that will keep it completely honest with you about everything, even the things you don’t want the truth about, she’s going to tell you. Whether it be your eyebrows are uneven or you’re in a situation that need to get out of because you’re better than that. She doesn’t come from a place of hate or trying to belittle you, she just wants the best for your life (and eyebrows). She may have a horrible approach to how she says things but you know the love is there..deep down inside. When you need a good talking to, you go to her before anyone because you don’t want anyone to sugar coat it; she takes one sentence to say what someone would take 15 minutes to say.

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When it comes to finding these friends, just let it happen naturally and don’t force it to become a relationship. You want those around you that will voluntarily cheer you on from the sidelines and support you without you having to say anything to them. They simply do it because they want to and are genuinely proud of you. They should be there to lift you up and motivate you when you feel like giving up and they snap back into reality, with no hesitation.

I hope this helps you realize the importance of having the right energy around you and how they can help you elevate to the prosperous woman God designed you to be. Cherish  these women in your life, pray for them daily to keep them safe and show appreciation every once in a while, it goes a long way.

Until next time friends, stay blessed.

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